Bias of Life – 3/200

Life can be biased in so many ways, if we really think about it. But, sometimes in moments of epiphany we may realize that life has given us all other characteristics to beat somethings against us.


All our lives are beautiful, if only we can think above its bias all the times or fewer times. Started thinking about this blog 2 days ago. But, I was not sure if life has been partial or prejudice to me. For sure life wasn’t partial, but people were. Life wasn’t prejudice, because things always turn out to be better than what I plan them to be. So, why life seems to be so biased? Probably, to train our minds, emotions and soul for better tomorrow.

One thing we may have realized is that life is best of all teachers, and worst of instructors. Unlike teachers life first take tests and then present the lessons. Life is such a simple word with most complex yet intriguing meaning. People meditate for years to understand life, it may so appear. But, true yogis meditate to train themselves to become compatible for lessons of lifetimes. Life can be biased in so many ways, if we really think about it. But, sometimes in moments of epiphany we may realize that life has given us all other characteristics to beat somethings against us.

We all like partiality in favor of ourselves but not prejudice. But, all actions have repercussions. Partiality done to someone can be slow poison, in both directions. If someone let us say, was born lucky will never know fruits of labor and love. They may grow taste to effortlessness and likely to be insensitive. My love recently stated that life is may be easier to women but not for men. I wanted to reply but silence is best reply to the ignorant once. My answer was- we females live in men’s world, we are continuously treated as another species. Even if, we are responsible for future of species. Is life partial to us:No. But, men and we ourselves are.


Life appears to be hugely biased all the times, but it is not. It is just guiding us for better choices. One of my friends has been looking for job since last 1.5 years, and yet there is no success. It has been tiring and disappointing time for her. And, now she believes she is lacking something. For me as a recruiter, she is overly qualified. Way over then required to restart at ground zero. Her resume is filled with details of her job responsibilities from past 2 or somethings years of job experience, which further complicate things. This is apart from her personal life, which may or may not be perfect. Does her life seems to be perfect? or Bias in comparison to others? I supposed I should even use a word perfect in a sentence about her life. But, yes her life is biased. Bias against to let her settle for pity little jobs. Biased towards a better opportunity somewhere in future. We all should wait through the bias-ness of life and watch out until things settles.

Truly, life is biased for us, against in the moment, till moment is right. It reflect all its prejudice against our desires, until something worth waiting for is living reality. So, if life plays games on you, wait if it is annoying. And play along with life if you’re playful and sarcastic, like me. My life acts like a hoe, always needing attention, which I never give it. So, drama in my life goes around at a safe distance, while I enjoy making fun of my hoe life. It is hard to take life so easily. Because, despair may blind the desperate and desperate times need desperate actions. But, only patience is the key, when life is playing dirty games on us. So, wait with all you got, and put in all you got when time is right.

New found Love,RUMI.

I know, at his state of awareness, consciousness, or trans words just flow, doesn’t even matter if someone is listening or not. Words at ut-most passion in full alertness of divine presence, some of the luckiest only can understand.

“When the world pushes you to your knees, you are in perfect position to pray”.- Rumi

“Be patient, where you sit in the dark, The dawn is coming.”- Rumi

“The wound is the place from where light enters you”. -Rumi

“Isn’t it time to turn your heart into a temple of fire”. – Rumi

Well, with my rising awareness, I found compulsion to explore Rumi over and over again. And I shared it with my dear friend. And he shared a file of Rumi’s Quotes right away, which he had on his phone. Then also waited, to see how much it is needed. And, then I explored in, and I fell in Love. In Love with a sage from 1200 AD.

As I read his quotes, I realized people have explored madness with great profoundness. Kind of madness I go through on monthly basis with Moon and Sun. I knew even in desperate times grace can be held. Even though sometimes grace doesn’t remain but beauty out-bursts. No, sage, saint, and intellect seems normal to peers. I m not saying I am a sage, I am just saying, I will never try to fit in. Because, chance of me having a normal life is thin, thinner than my hair.


“He is hidden,

the Creator of all the things,

I desire Him, One who is manifesting in everything”.- Rumi

“Remember God so much that you’re forgotten. Let the caller and the called disappear, Lost in the call”.- Rumi

“Kill the snake of desire (ego) in the beginning, or watch out,

And your snake will become a dragon”. – Rumi

“Either give me more wine, or leave me alone”.-Rumi

“Search, no matter the situation, O thirsty one search for water constantly. Finally, the time will come when you will reach the spring.”- Rumi

“Sounds of salams of rising waves.. Diminish down in prayers, hoping for some trace of the one whose trace doesn’t appear.” – Rumi

I never read more than 3-4 poems of Rum in one go, as the essence of his words is always multi-fold. Every time I read something that resonates, I close my eyes and let it resonate for a while. I read Rumi and my heart sinks, how someone can speak so profoundly yet subtly. But, this is something I did at end of my vipasna, I sang for hours, songs of devotion and love, which I never heard before or read before. And all my close friends know I never sing. Because, singing is not my forte, dancing is. But, at such high states of awareness, few possibility rises above the normal barriers. So, I can relate when I read about Rumi- dancing and singing in backyard. His disciples wrote his words, as of Kabir and Surdas. Rumi, may break the thread of reciting, never to sit down and write but again to go back to his dance and heart-felt-ness.


Till, now I have wrote 4 poems officially in English. Few in Hindi and few other for people. But, I sometime think even if writing becomes “me” in some distant future, I wish if I can do to at least one person, what Rumi does to me after centuries just with his Words. I know, at his state of awareness, consciousness, or trans words just flow, doesn’t even matter if someone is listening or not. Words at ut-most passion in full alertness of divine presence, some of the luckiest only can understand. And thats why Rumi beautifully said –

“Silence is the language of God. All else is poor translation.” 

I fear sometimes, that my desire to share and experience life with peers may go with time. And it has already reduced to great extent. But, there is no issue trying to share, because even if I connect to one soul, relieve even one human at a time, my work is worth doing.




Life over Love- 4/200

Love kills me daily, but life survives. Even deepest love are meant to be forgotten and forbidden if life starts suffocating.

We all smile through the day, no matter how  we’re feeling. After all, we all have been trained to smile and rejuvenate on our own. Sometimes, even smiling with a wavering heart start killing us. We all have lost and felt looted through our lives. And, I say it is “ok” to sit and relax and analysis to start refresh. Sometimes timelines doesn’t matter if wound has sunk deeper in our hearts. Important is to heal and feel life as whole. Incompleteness often make us incompetent.  In some cases, truth is that our affection for a person has become poison of lifetime. Poison of our choice.

Love kills me daily, but life survives. Even deepest love are meant to be forgotten and forbidden if life starts suffocating.

We all live in society, with our families and friends. As our survival instincts are highly active, our intelligence have broaden it. Now, we not only protect and nurture ourselves but also our family, society, city and so on. We have just broaden our survival instinct to the scale we are comfortable. But, some people are still looking for companionship. Someone to love and share everything with. And, lack of that companion kills them daily. Their survival instinct have risen a need to find a mate to share and care and reproduce. That, too at such a emotional degree. This emotional need to have a companion can be noticed at such wide scale in our times. But, can we love someone, without even knowing the nature of life?


We all feel exhausted, frustrated, and lonely 24×7. No-matter what and where we are. Even if we have a companion it becomes monotonous and charm of relationship goes away in sometime. We’re looking to decorate our lives with all kind of tangible and non-tangibles. But, not ever trying to understand life and its nature. Not, knowing nature of life is like, taking dip in sea without knowing its depth. And that people from our generations have to make so much efforts to live. Knowing life also, give us ability to live life at ease and cultivate delights for us and others.

People who have better understanding of life laugh a little louder, sees a little brighter and sings a-bit more melodious.

We all as a community has moved in such a direction that even our folklore have lost distant meaning of life in them. We all in adult generation feel exhausted and frustrated from time to time. We all at times search for better purposes in life, without knowing life itself. If we come to even a probability of knowing nature of life,our survival instinct will take lower pace. Because, our existence is magical. What is probability of only one tiny planet in between of no-where holding life. Look deeper how thin chances of our chances are to exist and you will value this life, this planet and our existence. There are million and billion stars and galaxies yet we know of only one planet having life on it, the one we call home. Yet, we don’t value our lives, our laughter and our days.

Yes, when I say life, I think of life on this planet. Because, then only I forget of one irrelevant person or minute incident. Because, I have met people who have given up on humanity. I have met amazing minds who have sorrow laden hearts. But, we as a community should work to achieve better structure and approach for our functions. This can be only be achieve if we all as individuals make conscious efforts to achieve better.




A NEW START- 1/200

Welcome, to phase of this writing space. Here-forth, I will be making blogs entries on regular basis. For a while I did make distance from writing as all days are not same. But, making these entries help me connect with readers, your feedback has been really appreciated. Feedback are necessary and will be required to improve with time. As I am a new bud blossoming in this direction. These blog posts will be my attempt to connect with my close circle. These blog posts will have multi-fold targets-

  1. To improve the writing skills.
  2. To improve my sharing skills.
  3. Will offer truth and raw thoughts with utmost creativity.
  4. Creating clarity in life.

Also, I look forward following from the readers I share these blogs with-

  1. Feed-back, area of improvement
  2. Sharing similar feelings and incidences.
  3. Sharing love and support among the community.

In life we all go through ups and downs but we chose people to share them with. I have been blessed with many such people whom I am comfortable feelings, shredded to the most intimate levels of truth. These people have been building block of my life through ages. We all have learnt to keep silent and numb about these feelings. But, today I use this platform to thanks them all. Many names come to my mind but I won’t take any names. With time and space we might have got distanced but your space in my heart is same as the times when we were together.



I still remember like yesterday going to Neerja’s place before school in nursery, I still remember making friends with Priya Dubey later with Priya Khetpal, I still remember Pallavi coming to class with heavy heart and pink eyes, I remember my first encounter with this little trouble maker Ankita in college. Meeting Urvashi, flirtatious Rahul, Mohit, Swati Kamal, Harshit Sahu, Shikha, and many more. But, writing about all of them with the intensity I feel about them will not do justice to what I feel for each one of you.

Love has been tremendous part of my life over the years. With depth we started discovering metaphors of love and relationships in school was unbelievable. WE started early with Pallavi, even at that age she was mature and understood love at which most mature people won’t even understand. Once she read somewhere (I know in our moral science book) “There is nothing better than looking into eyes of someone you love and utter “I love You.” That day I realized how deep love can be. How meaningful words can be in love and life. Just, love gives ability to understand life from a higher plane of compassion. Over, the years I have witnessed her falling in love deeper and deeper. But, suffering is inevitable if its addiction of one specific soul. Recently, I have been exploring spirituality and trying to observe emotional drama we got through to feel alive and loved. But, do we need to suffer to feel loved in our lives??

We all try to close our hearts and feel lesser but it is also rendering us with un-ability to be loved even if someone does. May be, someday I can be involved with life and someone without being attached. But, that seems like far away possibility. I loved all, all my friends and all my lessons. But, always suffering has been a part. They say suffering is choice once you attain a higher understanding to life, that possibility I look into eagerly. Un-till, now I have found suffering is a choice in all relations if we are in the grip of any moment. But, if we love anyone truly, heartily, and madly, chance of us being in control of the moment is lesser. Love doesn’t hurt when the one you truly love is with you, but when they are absent. Absent, emotionally, or physically our own psychological reminiscing become torturous.


We as people of these times, with higher sensitivity may someday become smart enough not to react even mentally to absence someone have left.  May be, there absence is not an issue but our habit of recalling moments with them which can’t be created, and planning out future endeavors with them is. Planning a life is something hopeless, may just professional life plans are good enough but never our love-lives. Someday, we all get someone to love but never the way we planned it. May be that’s why love only happens when we are not looking for it with someone we never thought about. Best way to love is love like we have just the moment, but how can we ever get over the memories.

Memories and dreams are so similar, both are just mental projection one from past and another into the future. To resolve our addiction to insufferable memories and dreams, we may look into utility of both. For me both have survival usage, but our whole existence should be about rising above our survival instinct. To become more than animals. What is that which differentiate human beings from all other flora and fauna on the planet. Fore-sure, its our ability to live above our survival instinct. WE as humans can always make a choice and live above our needs and desires that drags us back and forth of drama of life. It may take some discipline to train our brains for better, but it is a possibility to rise above drama that is repetitively played in our heads.



Generation of Disconnected Life and Well connected Gadgets.

Today after longtime I shared my innate happiness, curiosity, words, and laughter. Laughter is important that is the key. If you cannot laugh while doing something you’re doing it with wrong people or parameters. We have to understand as “grown adults” that whatever we do should have our 100% or sooner or later its gonna be stinking and down the drain. We are planning, living, and leading life, but do we really even understand innate beauty that life is.


In this city full of living beings, we see only a few really living. Sometimes, we have to put down our analytic spectacles and just observe. Its something like- if to give a simple pen to kid, who has no idea what it does. with time he will observe, learn, and understand how its works, how it can be used and most importantly how it is being used. And if look at life same way, if we observe life-our own life we would realize much more and see our own dramas, emotions, irrelevant needs, unhealthy lifestyles, and greed much more clearly. And if once we see us thoroughly we can connect with life much clearly. I always tell my friends and family to “EMBRACE OURSELVES”. It not only helps to connect with deepest conscious mind but also to life.

Life: it is like water no matter what it flows. Life is like water it flows, and we have flow with it. Some master art of living as riding the waters and some just are carried away by its beauty, I think I am being carried away.  I have been so involved in life in past few months that I have much higher focus to anything that I am performing at a particular moment. Its like when we put a gulab Jamun, and its one hell of a gulab jamun that melts in your mouth. And you have that small moment where time stops and gulab jamun is becoming one with you, literally. Yes, we should live our lives every moment like we are eating one hell of a gulab jamun. Enjoying it, crushing it, killing it, and living it.

If we are not happy and living in darker space of mind then we should explore and wander (may be under guidance, best way to head some way is to ask one who have returned). All who wander are not lost, some are misfits, weirdos, adventurers, lovers of nature, and thinkers. It is never too late to take risks, off course calculated risks as per our own lives. I won’t suggest become a daredevil or yogi. But, at least we should put our first feet forward to make our truce with life. When I say life with all have got, I feel it so deep, its almost like I melt in that moment. I won’t “I love my life.” but surely “I do love nature of life.”


If we aren’t feeling certain level of joy doing a particular thing, then we should probably hold it for awhile. Now, certain people will say “Garima, enough is enough but work is serious. How, we can enjoy our work mode?”. First of all, MODE? are you a cyborg? are you running on a program(culture appropriation, values, responsibilities, and many other factors can be there)? but whatever have stopped giving joy, calmness, sense of self is needed to be spared, period. When I return from work I mostly don’t put on my microphones, because I want be in that moment reading faces, struggles, stories, and life in this city. I see almost 75% people have headphones on in metro. But, even these people aren’t enjoying music, they want to rush, reach home and lay in bed, may be to reach home and be with their families. But, worse are who are scrolling down and down, its almost like falling down the rabbit hole of social media.

Social media for me is a boon. We get to hear, learn and share with others. With people from school, graduation, post-graduation, various offices, various countries, different age-groups, and people with different Ideas. But, Obsessively scrolling down syndrome, please act smarter than that. We’re so well connected yet we feel so lonely. Sometimes, I even realize that people who don’t put on their head-phones almost look like sociopaths and weirdos. Being one of the weirdos, I may put on headphones because reading same story again and again is boring. All faces sometimes say ” day was long and lazy.” So, music in my ears and soul in my body, I start tapping my feet, shaking my head, wiggling my fingers. But, when rhythm is so good, why not to dance on it. So, is life- let us at least try to catch up to rhythm of life, at least we should try to listen to it, read it, and someday we may perform so well that everything claps back at you.

Today, I realized if life showing, let say flaunting, because I haven’t felt anything more beautiful than life that flows and burns in me.

” When life flaunts its beauty, we don’t observe or analyse, we just clap.”

Well, I bow down. Google shows meaning of “Bow down as to show weakness by agreeing to the demands or following the orders of (someone or something)”. Our existence is not to improve life, our existence is to maintain life. If humans have evolved so much, isn’t it our responsibility to sustain life. I won’t say you all have to carry your responsibility as our duty to sustain life by taking simple steps as avoiding littering, removing plastics, speaking softly, or prefer walking over your goddamn new car. You are here live in luxury so enjoy, but enjoy not wonder.

Sometime, back I had a recurring thought “What can be done in this life has been done by me, but nothing satisfy me. Nothing!! living, laughing, crying, eating, and anything. So, I started reading, not books or posts but faces. Faces that are connect to life at particular moment of time seemed so perfect. But, a face rushing, and slushing never seems to be happy. Mankind have war against nature, previously we wanted make our houses in most unkind natural habitats, now we have made our hearts unkind to nature.

People ask me how I live with connecting to so much with others, because I connect with what is not apparent. I connect that is above tangibility above expression, something we call or see as conscious life. Probably, we can share ideas about someday later, please leave comments if we need to discuss this.

Once, being asked what surprised him most about humanity the Dalai Lama Stated:

“Man sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live as if he never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”

RUMI_some of my favourites

Poem-The Reed Flute’s Song

“At any gathering I am there,

mingling in the laughing and grieving,

a friend to each, but few

will hear the secrets hidden.”


“Every thirst gets satisfied except

that of these fish, the mystics,

Who will swim a vast ocean of grace

still somehow longing for it!”

Poem- A thirsty Fish

“I have thirsty fish in me

that can never find enough

of what it’s thirsty for!”


“This is how it always is

when I finish a poem.


A great silence overcomes me,

and I wonder why I ever thought

to use language.”

Cheers!! to Love….

Cheers!! to all the love stories,

this valentine’s. Happy faces,

And heavy hearts,

filled with love or secrets or both.


Cheers! to love stories,

that never made out,

of closet, hidden in heart of lovers.


Cheers! to unexpected love,

The ones fell in love with

Bffs, filled with laughter.


Cheers! to accidental love,

The one met by chance,

But never left each other by choice.


Cheers! to love story,

that has to be stopped,

but, never left from our hearts.

The one that will last for ever.


Cheer!! to love that,

Lasted forever.

With sweet bond of marriage.

Together as peas in the pod.


Last cheers!! to Love,

That make us feel connected,

Connected to another soul.

Above our odds and differences.

A page from my heart

Letting something go isn’t my strongest pursuit. It is hard for to walk away, even though something is long gone. Writing these words here is relieving me of burden of detachment I am wearing since more than a year now. Even though I took 6 months just to decide to walk away, but still I haven’t learned to live without the lose of love. For many relationships are like home. For me He was my world.

It’s okay to miss people, but never forget why you distanced yourself

Deep silence engulfs me admitting it, but it is true to me. HE WAS MY WORLD. I have to write these words here to remove the imprints I can’t forget. I am not whining about my lose but need healthy release from my pain. It is not pain I suppose but an everlasting realization of absence of someone I lost. If it was about just affair I would have got over it. But, I let go of my best-friend, a person I bared my all emotions to. And now no matter whom I meet, and whom I connect with I can’t fill this void. I feel empty as I knew I  would, when I decided to walk away. I really wish we were more smart than we acted. You never lied, I never underestimated you. I never under-estimated you, but I let you leave. I asked you to leave.

No matter how much I talk rubbish about you with my friends, truth is you absence is dominating my thoughts continuously. I knew this would happen, I opted for this. I need baring my emotions, walking out of shadow of denial or ignorance. I never even cried my heart out about your lose, but I continuously miss holding your hand. I really wish we had better lives together. I have my reasons to walk out, but it was still hard to remember losing someone you look up to. I hope you make me proud one day.

We are all fucked up.

Some of Us are just “Honest” about it.

I don’t regret my decision but our choices. I wish you all happiness and love. Hope you have a life, we can’t have. As I write I want to cry like a baby. I needed this, to move on. I can’t be scared to live like this longer than this. I need support emotionally, and I reach out to wrong people. I call to my people, to help!! I need to walk away for real, I need to accept something that let go of this continuous absence of someone I needed.







Reaction to Responsiveness to life- 6/200

Reality, is twisted. But, how it got twisted? How we lost essence of life, how we lost sense of meaning of life when we are ultimate piece of life known? Life got complex as we proceeded on track of evolution. Once life was simple, we lived and laughed but it all we lost as it became about survival. Even survival is simple but it is our desires that twisted the tale of “simple life.”

The way life has opened to me is mysterious even to me. “Life is simple, it is effortless process, but we keep adding the complexities to it.” “Life is simple, Anu. It is for all.” I told him once. “May be for girls” he replied. And I realized he is not blind but blinded by self. We have become so much more and life became what it is not- “Complex.” People are looking for love and freedom. But,isn’t it the basic character of existence. There is an intelligence to every ounce of this existence that loves us more than we imagine. Isn’t that is why we make out of our all troubles. And isn’t it that is why we exist in first place out of all adversity and probabilities.

This nothingness that I connect with is a constant companion. This energy of nothingness connects with oneself with if you are conscious enough to get in touch. It communicate in million ways, but we are to busy to notice, at least many are. People if once even feel this nothingness, get them addicted to solitude and pleasantness. When you once know (felt) this connection there is no going back. Even on busiest days, it calms you. This no-thingness is a constant companion on tract of life.


Just look closely enough, you will see intelligence in simplest creatures. And if you are searching for connection, notice non-living. Even what we call abiotic has very intelligent ways to interact. Just imagine atoms, how they react in organized manners over and over again and make beautiful existence. How atoms remember to react in same manner to create and replicate. There is an intelligence in very microscopic level of existence. It all started from very alive consciousness 13 billion years ago. It all settled to in patterns to optimize entropy. To understand nature some knowledge of thermodynamics and quantum world will help. But, I m talking from experience. Once we connect, everything call backs.

It look crazy but even tree communicate if you attain certain consciousness. Consciousness for me higher state of awareness, which can be developed by focus and control over mind. We helplessly trapped in loops of thoughts and repeat same drama over and over again. Rise above drama and become an seeker- an observer first. Meditation for a beginner seems lost cause-but to attain control over thoughts it is a must. Meditation helps to identify and overlook our thoughtful loops of what we see as life. And once we understand drama of mind, we can step back.

Once we have ability to monitor thoughts, screening out useless recurring drama can be achieved slowly. We can attain ability to overcome need to react to everything. And ability to not to react, adds new level of grace to our existence and we connect more to life. Doesn’t matter where life is headed we attain better grip on life, worrying less but more calmness. That grace to act to what is required is our evolution to our spiritual selves.

Control over our obsessive habits is just a start to better possibility. Habits are recurring actions out of our control and that drains a lot of energy out of us. Recently, I started to notice my own obsessive habits, which for me are my addiction of need to react to everything and obsessive eating disorder. Now, I have realized that I react out of my need to react, I have started to wait longer to respond. And that distance between reaction and response is awareness of self.


Let Compassion over-come ego in you-5/200

Higher the ego, more rigid we become. And rigid in life will break from moment. Our life should feel like a breeze, melting and accumulating.

Been thinking to pen down article about ego, but something always stops me. I will not ever let ego drive me even at once. I have seen ego killing liveliest of friendships and relations. Ego, have been all over the place, nothing is really achieved but only lost. Ego, brings a deadly silence to places where only laughter should reside. Homes have fallen as people can’t let ego go away, even for children. Ego, is driven by self-importance and its “ok” prefer yourself when anything doesn’t seems right. But, we always have to calculate from the start.

As, read through a book on Adiyogi, destroyer of everything. It explains how three ash-lines on His forehead represents end of fury, greed and pride. Yes, He ends very root cause of self-importance. And people just idolize Him as one who is ignorant to everything, doesn’t see His compassion. He participates with at-most compassion, even when He is said to know past, present future. So, when I think of Shiva, I see nothing else than compassion for existence and others. So, why not we participate in every step of life, even though we resistance. Just one step at a time with all our heart.

Ego, is driven by self-importance which in turns flamed by pride, fury or greed or all. Ego, is like a wall which may live even smartest ones blinded. But, walls build with bricks can’t be broken as resistance from the person will repel you far far away. It would take long devotion and commitment to over come walls of pride, fury and greed. People who have high ego have been blinded by self-righteousness. People are so blinded that nothing seems in place to them. Compassion is the key to connect, and let the walls melt away. Ego can be developed to avoid vulnerability, but I am not saying to connect with everyone. At-least, we should connect with few. without any walls.

Higher the ego, more rigid we become. And rigid in life will break from moment. Our life should feel like a breeze, melting and accumulating. I see ego as a barrier to live life at fullest. While compassion let to embrace the life and people in it. Compassion is what we should seek. If life is a force that will flow no matter what, why not we swim with it, and protect others.